Make It Real
03.06.08

Throughout the dance scene, there are so many wonderful people who really want to share the joy of dance with everyone they meet. In teaching and talking to many of our newer dancers, I focus on those positive elements and work at introducing many of those people to our new friends so that they may taste that comraderie and friendship. There is nothing like getting off on the right foot to make an enjoyable activity even better.
 
We do have to address the occasion where someone has a less than stellar attitude regarding new or unknown dancers. In the jungle, you do find the occasional person who has forgotten what it was like at the beginning.
 
One of the biggest challenges in learning to dance is overcoming that fear of asking others to dance. We have all experienced that emotion and many shrink from that challenge to defeat themselves literally before they get started. It is well known that rejection and poor experiences are 10 times more powerful than positive events. Running into that one bad experience early on can turn many people away from dancing forever.
 
Since the dance community is really all about positive experience and enjoyment of those around you, the rewards far outweigh the risks. Although it is always more fun and confidence building to be asked rather than take the initiative, your investment in dance should not be determined by something outside your control. This is easier to say than it is to do. I remember my start to the dance floor as well, and supposedly I am fearless.
 
HONK! Wrong answer!
 
Just like so many around us, I managed to survive asking and even being rejected/corrected/criticized by others. You can as well.
 
Keep some of tips in mind that I have discussed before:
 
1. Band together - One of the coolest things about group classes is meeting others at the same stage of learning to dance. Arrange outings together. You can practice dancing and asking each other before venturing out of that circle.
 
2. Share ideas and experiences - Use the others in your group as a sounding board. Talk to each other and share your experiences. You will knwo more dancers that will be good targets to ask by pooling your knowledge with others, limiting the chances of a bad experience.
 
3. Put bad experiences behind you - Don't let the one or two bad apples spoil your barrel! I know that can be tough to do, but look across the floor and soak up the energy from so many happy people around you. This will help you get past those trying times and on to the good stuff again.
 
A friend of mine had a bad experience early on in her dancing journey. Someone who not only refused to dance with her, but was additionally rude during the rejection. He forgot about her, she persevered and became a very strong dancer. After advancing so far, wouldn't you know that her rejector approached her for a dance! I'll let you complete the story as far as how she handled it, but just keep in mind that you will one day be the one to be looked up to. Don't forget these feelings today. It will be your turn to do the right thing...