Tough Going!
03.01.09

In the real world, it is great to be independent, but let's face it...it sure is a tough road to hoe!
 
In my misspent youth, team sports was more my style and seemed more in tune with how life should be handled. Although there will always be stars and benchwarmers, the truly great teams learn to use every resource they have available. You cannot place 1 player against 11 others and expect to win with those kind of odds. Instead, everyone had a part to play and when it all came together, the team succeeded.
 
So, how does this apply to dance? First, consider that you walk onto the dance floor with a partner. When the music starts, you find another part of the activity that you are looking to connect. Dance is a team sport.
 
Now consider this...your best chance to succeed on the dance floor is letting your partners do what they do best. Whether it is lead or follow, they have a part to play and you have another part, especially in West Coast Swing, where the team mate is not reflective of your actions.
 
I know some of you are right now repeating the line I hear often in classes - " BUT He/She doesn't Lead/Follow"
 
I am going to be really blunt here at the risk of hurting a few feelings...You are both correct in many instances. And the mirror may be a good place to start with how we are going to fix this situation.
 
Ladies, in the beginning of our dance lives, the leader has an extra burden. Both sides of the team learn the steps, the tehcniques, the rules, but the leader must learn to lead as well. The normal reaction is to help him. However, many of you take over the role instead of applying positive feedback and other techniques to truly give him the support he needs.
 
Once you back-lead, you begin an addiction that in many cases will frustrate and stunt any progress your leaders will ever have. The result is not what you really want. You need to find other ways to help. Especially considering your dance is suffering when this kind of help takes place.
 
Here is a more insidious problem that many of you do not realize. The follower never learns to truly follow. Your efforts to back-lead, anticipate and help cause the same loss of progress in your dance. This creates a loop that keeps all of us stuck in place. Try this little experiment. Get a partner you can trust and put a song on. Now blindfold yourself and have him lead you through the song. I use this exercise frequently in classes and privates and I usually get "That was tough!"
 
The follow up to this experiment is getting the follower to "Seek The Lead." This leads to settling into whichever hand is connected to them with their hand (or shoulder blade or other body part). When this is accomplished, lights go on. All of a sudden that leader is leading much better, eh?
 
Positive feedback, practice and self improvement are the ways to correct the impression of elements lacking in the lead/follow. Learn to be the strongest leader/follower you can be. Don't look to the partner at the first blush of a problem unless it is to solicit feedback. When you do give and receive feedback, be positive. What can make the situation better is your strongest approach. Definitely avoid "You are doing it wrong..." And practice your part with everyone. Strong or new, all dancers need to spend a lot of floortime honing their skills to make themselves the best teammates they can be. Don't focus on dancers (usually a higher level) that make it easy for you. Give to those needing the time and feedback to become better and gain confidence. Your time and effort will be well spent and you will gain another teammate who can help you succeed on this journey called dance!